Coaching thieves of Joy?
I’m starting to feel like I’m personally attacking myself. Character assassination. Senseless.
I can’t be alone.
I hope.
I do think we become desensitised to progress though. We coach year after year and teach the same skills over and over. The novelty of helping an athlete achieve something for the first time wears off and, gradually, we’re less ecstatic- almost like tick, what’s next?
The emotional numbness that can come with experience is something I’ve been thinking about lot over the past few months. Here’s a few that spring to mind:
An athlete’s first walkover
Hitting zero at comp
Winning a division
Nailing an elite for the first time
Watching a team just enjoy being a team and not being driven by outcomes
I started thinking more about how I might look like to an athlete/ team in these moments:
‘Well done on your walkover but…’
‘We hit zero but we were lucky the judges didn’t see X,Y,Z.’
‘We won but only because team A…’
‘Well done but what about the J-up?’
‘Can you stop messing around?’
I’ve fabricated these examples but they do make me feel like the thief of joy. I, we, are often so focussed on getting comp ready or what ever the next thing is that we are in danger of forgetting why so many young people are taking up cheerleading in the first place. It’s fun! It builds confidence and allows young people to express themselves in a way that they might not be able to do in other aspects of their lives.
I’ve been working on taking my foot off the gas and putting my own expectations and ego to the side. It’s not about me. The overall coaching experience has been so much better and, dare I say, the impact has been better on the progression of my athletes.
This idea particularly hit home in a non-cheerleading context. At the end of September my wife and I climbed Mount Snowden, one of the highest peaks in the UK. For me, not long out of running the marathon and generally keeping my fitness up, the climb was comfortable. For my wife, who was only 6 months out from her final chemo treatment, it was tough going (we did the Pyg track, which Google ranks as the third most difficult). There were stops, frustrations, tears and doubt BUT she didn’t stop. It was inspiring. When we reached the summit and I could see her exhaustion fade to joy, like she couldn’t believe she’d just climbed a freakin’ mountain, I thought to myself ‘oh boy I’ve been getting this all wrong!’ It felt good just celebrating what she’d achieved.
Our season begun in September and I’d been thinking about my coaching style through the break and into the season, the Summit of Snowden was the peak (pun intended) of all the things I’d been thinking about. Yeah, I want to be successful and win divisions and all the things, my athletes do to. BUT not at the expense of the experience and that’s fair because, although not intentional, I was certainly robbing them of some of it because there was always something else do be moving on to.
Instead, really enjoying and celebrating those moments has been great for morale, team chemistry and enjoyment; the progress that’s come with it is just the icing on the cake and I feel fortunate to have been able to find a clearer vision.